The hanger-on

Posted: November 8, 2010 in don't fight it
Tags: , , , , ,

How do you ask someone to move on.  I don’t mean the dipstick who hasn’t realized the light changed all of 5 seconds ago or the lost ‘forty something’ at the supermarket with her nose buried in a gossip magazine and the conveyor belt thingy is idling as empty as her mind. NO NO

This kind is worse.  Not an icicle on some romantic Swiss chalet, not an outrageously green gross one on a five-year old tough kid’s nose.  NO NO

This hanger has skin like a rhino and sensitivity to match.  It’s not a matter of being outlandishly inappropriate; flatulence at a funeral or barfing on the bride at her wedding – that’s inappropriate.

It is a combination of the above three.  The hanger is blissfully unaware that they are a tedious annoyance that for all you are worth you want to just flick off.

So tact or no tact?    Do you say,  “Oi mate you ain’ arf a flippin’ pain in the arse.  Whyn’ you go find a fly on a lump o’ dog muck that’ll entertain ya.”

Might work?

Do you say, “ Oh I’m sorry I’ve got to clean the teeth on the cat and then de-scale my dishwasher, come to think of it I’ll de-scale the aquarium and the fish too.”

Might work?  But you’ll get caught one day.

Try honesty see what happens.

Do you say, “Look I ‘m sorry but you’re probably a really nice person… to someone else.  You should go find that other nice person.  I’m not it.”

The painful thing is the first one will leave you told off but then it will be forgotten by both sides in 48 hours.  The second will leave you in a perpetuated fear of being found out or stalked by the ‘hanger’.  The last one will leave you feeling crappy for weeks though the ‘hanger’ probably blew it off in 10 minutes and you’re left holding the crumbled cookies.

So all you can really do is SMILE because  Small Minded Idiots Live Everywhere…. Smile it spreads goodness everywhere….

or

lose the plot completely:  froth at the mouth,  pull you hair,  glaze your eyes as your grimace tears your facial muscles to pieces,  look the hanger in the eye… rip your shirt open and reveal your true inner feelings…

Some Mondays. If you have a quick way to politely flick someone off please share.

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